Stand by Me

IMG_8337I get to walk my daughter to and from school everyday. I love that we live so close to her school and we get to be outside in the fresh air together everyday. It’s a great time to talk and to just enjoy each others company. On days that I have to drive to pick her up from school my heart is sad because I miss out on that time. Walking leads to talks and adventures, we discover new things and enjoy old favorites. It’s an amazing bonding time that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.

My walks with my children remind me so much of my walk with God. I look forward to my daily time with God, talking to Him and listening to His spirit refreshes my soul and pushes me to do His will in my life. When I miss my time with Him, I feel empty and saddened like I missed out on something spectacular. Both walks with my God and my children takes work. I have to make the time and not be lazy, but it is always worth it.

Getting to walk with my kids everyday is an adventure. We meet new people and greet old friends, and the greatest thing is every walk is new and different, even if we take the same path. My children are very different as well, I can tell my daughter to walk right next to me and she will. She keeps her eyes on me and follows me to where we are going. Even if she runs ahead she never goes too far without seeing where I am. She doesn’t feel safe when I am not at arms reach. However my son is full of adventure and doesn’t realize the dangers that are out there. He loves to chase leaves, find rocks, run fast, climb things and of course jump off of them. He lives in his own little world and easily forgets where he is and how far he has gone away from me.

Recently while walking home from taking Sienna to school, Eli ran into the street between to parked cars just as a huge truck was coming down the street. There was NO way this truck would be able to see him. My heart stopped. I feel like I had super strength and super speed in that exact moment. I leaped what felt like 10 feet and was able to grab Eli by his arm and pull him back onto the sidewalk just missing the big truck that would have had no way to see a tiny little boy run in front of it and stop in time. But in that moment Eli started crying, he had fallen backwards onto the side-walk and scraped his elbows. I will never forget what he said with tears in his eye, “Mama, you hurt me!” he didn’t see the truck and for all he knew he was off to chase a leaf and Mama pulled him backwards and now he is hurt. I couldn’t stop saying that I was sorry, but it seemed impossible to explain to him that he was in danger and that I had been protecting him. I carried him home telling him that I love him and that he couldn’t see the danger but I could. I was protecting him, and he couldn’t understand. That was a hard day on my heart, but I’d rather my sweet boy have scrapped elbows and be alive then to have lost him.

As I sat with my bible in my lap and tears in my eyes that morning, thanking God for protecting my little boy, I was struck with the thought that I am exactly like my son, in more ways then one. My God tells me to stand next to Him, to walk close by His side, He begs me to keep my eyes on Him and to follow Him wherever He goes because He can see the dangers ahead, He knows exactly where He wants me to go and He wants to protect me from the things I can’t see. Yet I so often I run astray thinking I know better and can find my way on my own. I have experienced many “scrapped elbows” because I ran head first into something dangerous and God had to yank me back. I have looked at my heavenly father angry because I have experienced pain and brokenness, when that pain is due to the fact that I wasn’t keeping my eyes on Him. Nevertheless, God ALWAYS scooped me up and carries me home. Even when I have hot tears of anger in my eyes, He whispers He loves me and is protecting me. As I have grown closer to God and understand this walk we are on I have a better understanding of where I need to be, and that is right next to Him. Most of the time, defiantly not all the time, but most of the time when I am broken and hurting now, I see that it’s due to the fact that I wasn’t following God as closely as I should and can see the danger He was protecting me from.

I love my children with all my heart and want to protect them, I watch over them and try to teach them what is right and wrong and how to navigate this world. However one day they will grow up and they won’t always be walking next to me and I hope the lessons I taught them and the life I have lived would point them in the right direction.

But guess what?! Although my children won’t always be with me, God is ALWAYS with them. He wants to protect them and you! He wants to walk next to you through your life, guiding you and creating you into the person He meant you to be. He wants to show you where to go, and all we have to do is keep our eyes on Him.┬áIt’s not easy and it takes work, but your devotion to God, your walk with Him will keep you on the right path. We walk through life wondering “Where is God?” “Why can’t I get this right?” yet we aren’t walking with Him. It is in daily time with God that we stand by Him, it is in daily talks with Him that we understand where He is leading us and it is in keeping our eyes on Him that protects us from the pitfalls and dangers in the world.

I am not perfect and often find myself nursing a wound because of my own arrogance. However I get back up and run straight toward my God, and He is ALWAYS there waiting to walk with me. It is my hope that if you find yourself broken and hurt today that you don’t get angry at God, but that you would run toward Him and stand by Him. He is the only safe place, and is exactly where you need to be. Don’t keep trying to fight your way through life alone, you have a Great and Mighty God who is ready and willing to walk through life with you, but it’s up to you and you alone to stand by His side and walk with Him.

Take a step closer today.

for you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me. Psalm 61:3